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“Cardio machines go days or even weeks without being fixed, the towels used to wipe down equipment are few and far-between and the floor space for stretching could be advertised as an attractive nano unit after a quick a paint job.”

Last by-election’s voter turnout in 2013 was an abysmal 3.8 per cent, or 1,821 people. If voter turnout is similarly low this time around, the result could be swayed by very few students. No matter who you’re voting for, your vote matters.

Our theory is that the hand sensors were purposely ineffective and their real function was instead a fingerprint scanner created by the government, but we digress. Let us wash our hands (heh) of the old, and shower ourselves in the new (heh heh).

“They're there every year — dozens of makeshift graffiti signs spaced five to ten metres apart on both sides of the road leading to UBC. They serve no real marketing purpose and are highly distracting to drivers due to their frequency.”

“Find the part of UBC that makes you feel at home and enjoy it. Every entering first year is nervous about the upcoming year. Every. Single. One. You’re not alone. And you should never have to feel like you are.”

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