Humour

Girlbossmopolitan: Sex positions to try in your dorm

Your sex life sucks! It’s boring and you hate it and so does everyone you sleep with! Yeah, they told us. That’s why Girlbossmopolitan has a new set of wild positions to test out in the luxurious privacy of your UBC dorm. You’re welcome.

Dua Dipa and Teva Granola Humour April 4, 2022

Girlbossmopolitan: Ranking University of Bitchin’ Clock sports based on how fuckable the athletes are

My entire life, I’ve been told that I ‘wouldn’t get it,’ because I’m ‘not an athlete.’ I am an athlete.

Scarrie Badshaw Humour April 4, 2022

Girlbossmopolitan: UBC drinks that will impress your TA crush

Girlbossmopolitan is not responsible for the three months of avoided eye contact between you and your TA that will follow if you make these drinks.

Thomald McDomald Humour April 4, 2022

Girlbossmopolitan: 6.9 ways to fake your orgasm like a pro

Now here’s the secret EVERYBODY wants to know: how do you fake the purrrrfect orgasm? To find out, read on for our hottest tips that’ll blow your mind.

Jacques Trapp Humour April 4, 2022

Girlbossmopolitan: A man's perspective: I tried to convince my friends my girlfriend is real

I love my girlfriend so much. Mostly because she’s a real girl and she agreed to go out with me, but also because she wants to hold my hand and doesn’t gag when I kiss her.

Imaxipad and Dylan Doe Humour April 3, 2022

Girlbossmopolitan: Why you need to try post-manism

Post-manism is not an ideology — it is a state of mind. It is what has made everyone on campus absolutely and utterly obsessed with me and unable to get over the force of nature that is me.

Larry Cocaine Humour April 3, 2022

Girlbossmopolitan: Why being Queer is the best thing to ever happen to you, ever

Your friends at Girlbossmopolitan got your back — here are a few reasons why being Queer is the best thing to ever happen to you… like ever.

Tina Jelson-DayzJordans Humour April 3, 2022

Girlbossmopolitan: ASK-A-MAN: How do I change a light bulb?

As someone who is super hot and sexy, I find myself lacking real-world skills. Fuck! I have no clue how to change a light bulb.

Imaxipad Humour April 3, 2022

Girlbossmopolitan: Whoreification 101: The best places for a campus quickie

Controversy has been surrounding the new University of Bitchin’ Clock course, WHOR 101: Critical Studies in Whoreification. But we at Girlbossmopolitan think this class is the shit!

Serena Van Der-Floozy Humour April 3, 2022

Girlbossmopolitan: You’re ugly? — I’ve got you, here’s how to be hot

If you’re looking for a guide on how to be scrumdidlyumptious incarnate in skinny jeans, look no further, I've got you covered.

Anita Drinkandit'sonlynoon Humour April 2, 2022

Girlbossmopolitan: Please god, everybody on campus, stop looking like my ex

Breakups are hard. And I have made every effort to move on. But, please god, everybody on campus, stop looking like my ex.

Expi Aladocious Humour April 2, 2022

Girlbossmopolitan: Rebranding fraternities as polycules could save student democracy, and we’re so here for it

EKSPP is proudly running for Almonds Matter Society (AMS) executives as a polyamorous slate! That’s a ballot to bust one about.

Imaxipad and Teva Granola Humour April 2, 2022

Girlbossmopolitan: Perfecting the art of being more toxic than your RA

We’ve got you covered on all things girlboss here at Girlbossmopolitan and so does our cover girl, Andrea Queefburglar.

Jacques Trapp Humour April 2, 2022

Girlbossmopolitan: I fell in love with the alpha in my ECON 101 lecture

It was 2016 and I was a doe-eyed freshman nervous to go into my first economics lecture. I sat down in the corner of the big auditorium — little did I know my world was about to change.

Dylan Doe Humour April 2, 2022

Girlbossmopolitan: How to take backhanded compliments like the queen bitch you are

Here are some foolproof, scientifically proven ways to take backhanded compliments like the queen bitch you are while also making Becky feel like shit! Kisses!

Imaxipad Humour April 2, 2022

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