You’re lonely. I’m lonely. And that’s completely okay.
Search the Archive
- All
- News
- Culture
- Features
- Opinion
- Humour
- Science
- Sports
- Photo
- Guide
- Videos
- All magazines
- Magazine: Resolve
- Magazine: Seg Fault
- Magazine: Memory Leak
- Magazine: Redefine
- Magazine: System Failure
- Magazine: Ways Forward
- Magazine: Goes Around
- Magazine: Comes Around
- Magazine: Reclaim
- Magazine: Self
- All Spoofs
- Spoof: Mid Appétit
- Spoof: explain!
- Spoof: Girlbossmopolitan
- Spoof: NICE Magazine
- Spoof: The Main Maller
- Spoof: 2019 Spoof: Who?byssey
- Spoof: 2018 Spoof: Oh-No
- Spoof: 2017 Spoof: Breitbarf
But the world is cruel. Instead of what should have been we have this — a tragedy of happenstance and clumsiness.
Newly single? Long-term single? Not sure how to adapt to the fast-paced world of internet speed dating? Afraid of failure? Afraid of success? Well here are The Dingbat Dirtbag’s surefire tips to change things — even if it’s not for the better.
Last Tuesday, reports obtained by The Ubyssey showed that you’ve been totally weird recently, man. Eyewitness accounts state that your vibe has totally shifted the last couple weeks and that you’re kind of freaking everybody out.
It’s January 30. You’re going to the ARC for the first time because your new year’s resolution was to actually bulk instead of just saying ‘it’s bulking season’ every time you eat. How do you show that you’re not like the other new years newbies while simultaneously outclassing the 6 a.m. rise and grind crowd?
It was the evening of January 24. An ordinary Tuesday. Or so I thought.
Á la the New Yorker, The Ubyssey is launching its own caption contest, inspired by the goings-on at UBC! Here's a cartoon, created by Jasper Dobbin, that needs a caption.
What does a day in the life of a campus raccoon look like? Which buildings/residences have the juiciest trash? What is it like competing with the coyote packs? Are raccoons as cute as they look?
A month into 2023 and it feels like it has been a year already! To celebrate the upcoming year of laugh and love, and mourn the past year of whatever the opposite of laughs and love is, Ubyssey blog put together a list of our ins and outs for the year.
After another year back in-person at UBC, the university has decided to mandate professors to hold parent-teacher interviews at the end of the term. Here are some things your professor might bring up to your parents.
After the first semester, it seemed that I was late for everything. But after the storm passed and I watched Stranger Things, I decided to take a page out of Vecna's book.
I am on a one-woman mission. I want to become best friends with Dr. Deborah Buszard. So, I've devised the perfect, foolproof plan.
At the UBC Board of Governors annual Christmas spa night, merriment and joy were in full swing. The recent tuition increase was going to do many good things for the school (we can’t think of any right now, but that’s beside the point), and the Board was being rewarded with a bigger holiday party than had ever taken place at the Norman MacKenzie house.
UBC students have expressed excitement over the massive filming hub Mallmark’s announcement that it would be filming a UBC themed holiday movie titled UBCing me at the Holidays. The film follows two first-year Vanier residents and their love story.
Public transit is feral. It's worse than pub fights, bad fries or, might I say, the Harlem Shake. But, there is only one thing that makes the ride bearable: the corner seat. I thought it was a myth, but I’ve seen its glorious beauty with my own eyes.