After you complete these six easy steps, your professor is sure to cancel your exam and you will become a hero amongst your classmates.
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You believe the frail, wide-eyed, cold dust covered little lad inside the Martha Piper fountain is another pre-finals induced hallucination. But still, you approach it slowly, about to offer your puffer to the poor soaking and freezing thing.
While UBC may make you want to scream for other reasons, you can still have a taste of the best day of a Swiftie’s life while on campus with these steps.
The Ubyssey obtained a redacted copy of a Board of Governors (BoG) survey which asked respondents whether they support a tuition increase. Every single one of them said yes.
I’m brave. I’m bold. I’m a survivor — nay — a trooper — no — a warrior. And I did it all for you. This is my story, this is my truth, this is my tale. One shot, one opportunity, mom’s spaghetti.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I don’t believe in throwing away time for trivial matters like sleep, school or employment. Hopefully, you’ll be inspired by my actions to make more out of your time off from classes as well.
“Ironically enough, campus speedrunning is a marathon, not a sprint,” said Discord user SweatWeasel98 in a 360p video call on ubcsecure that cut out seconds later.
Find the link between the starred clues
Unfortunately, the Ubyssey writer assigned to cover this (Landen) was otherwise occupied bombing their midterm, and was unable to see the game proper.
The humour section has previously torn down UBC presidents (for shame), but you have a breakfast-themed name, so we would never do that to you.
Spooky scary story
I was a statue, haunted by the phantom of my former self, metal handle tight between my fingers as I grimaced at the students who passed.
The library would be packed on any other night. This was finally my chance to get a good spot.
Suddenly, as if the universe had heard me, a MasterChef audition invite arrived in my inbox.