“Dear Natalie,
My ex is not getting the hint that we are over. She keeps ‘accidentally’ bumping into me in between classes, even though I know her classes aren't anywhere near mine. She keeps messaging my friends asking when we can all hang out. She sends me videos, shows she wants to watch together, things she's ‘considering’ getting me for my birthday, even though I know she'd never get me some of that stuff if we were actually together. It's exhausting.
I've already told her we're done again and again over the phone, in person, text, you name it. What do I do now?”
You block her on everything. You get your friends to block her on everything. You ignore her. Don't engage. You've made it clear you want out of the relationship and you don't need a majority for that decision. If you want, send her a final message saying that you are 100 per cent done with the relationship, you don't want to be friends and to stop contacting you because you are going to block her on everything.
You've done all you can other than the silent treatment. You've said no and she's not respecting that. That's on her. You no longer have to cater to her feelings. Tell your friends to not pass any messages on from her and tell any mutual friends you absolutely will not be okay with them helping her get to you in any way.
She should get the hint. If you've been straight with her and she has any common sense, she'll understand and back off. She's in denial, but deep down she knows it's over or else she wouldn't be trying to buy you gifts to get you back.
If she continues to follow you or it escalates, talk to campus security. They are here to help students like you. It may not seem serious now, but if it becomes serious, do not hesitate, do not pass Go, do not collect $200. Your first duty is to yourself.
“Dear Natalie,
Life's been stressful lately. Do you have any recommendation for nice beaches around Vancouver, but very much away from the UBC ones? They'd better be the least crowded, safe and quiet, where one could spend hours watching the pleasant waves undisturbed.”
There is Kits Beach which you can walk to from 4th Ave or take the 22 or 2 bus routes if you're lazy like me. I'll be honest I'm biased towards Kits. I worked near the beach this past summer and spent far too much time there. It gets busy during the summer, but this early in the season it should be a little more manageable.
English Bay is always nice, although more crowded since you get the Stanley Park and Downtown crowd. It's the top pick for beaches if you want to actually go in the water.
Jericho and the Spanish Banks are both lovely too, if a little crowded. Spanish Banks also has the benefit of being part dog park — although as someone from not Vancouver, I'm telling you right now this whole city is pretty much a dog park and I'm loving it.
I'm going to throw in Wreck Beach because I like it and it makes me feel like I don't have to go to the gym ever again. Students will be mostly gone this summer which will make it a little more enjoyable. But depending on the tourism this summer, we might just replace the students with loads of German tourists. Side note, why are there so many German tourists? I mean I love them — they're super friendly — but why?
But if you're looking to get out of the crowds as much as you can, according to BCLiving, there are at least eight ‘secret beaches’ in the Lower Mainland, ranging from Vancouver and Tsawwassen to Port Moody. A beach called Bikini Beach is apparently tucked between First and Second Beach and Mount Seymour has a ‘Mystery Lake’ which is only a 1.5 km walk from the parking lot.
That's right. You could go to a Mystery Lake for the low low price of 1.5 km!
Explore the city! As much as I loved looking up beaches for you, you'll enjoy them far more if you find them yourself.
I would like to say now that if you feel at all that you or someone you know is in danger or a danger to themselves, please contact the authorities. Both 911 and the non-emergency line are available to you as well as campus security. I will not publish letters that my editor or I feel are above my pay grade. I can help direct you to resource groups on campus if you need support, but I cannot be a resource for you in an emergency if only for the fact I do not check my email daily. Thank you.
Need advice? Contact Natalie anonymously at asknatalie@ubyssey.ca and have your questions answered in an upcoming issue.
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