“Dear Natalie,
What is the best way to forget someone when you know that you won't be able to see him again? Even though the memories are short and brief, they seem to pop up at the slightest association. It's tough to get by every single day without hoping for a second chance. Sure, you can use some schoolwork, but they can't occupy your mind 24/7.”
I've gotten quite a lot of similar letters to this and while I promise I've read the others, I'm only going to respond to one.
Time. Time is the only way to get over a relationship. Sure you can try to cut corners here and there, but it's not until time has passed and you've processed everything accordingly does anyone truly move on from a relationship.
One day, hopefully soon, you'll be walking down the street and see this fellow and think to yourself, “Oh man, that guy looks familiar,” and then you'll laugh and laugh because you'll remember today and how hard it was.
As far as now, you can only try to distract yourself — try to keep him out of your mind and thoughts as much as possible. School work is great for this and even if you think it only goes so far, it's a pretty decent way to keep your thoughts focused while upping your GPA. But you shouldn't just do school work — you can look into new hobbies, meeting up with friends, trying new brunch places or coming to the Ubyssey office to start bitching about school and textbook prices. We will listen and we will bitch with you. Anything and everything that you can try, you can do.
Past romances tend to act like a jelly monster — it can fill every corner and cranny of your brain. But if you cut it off and don't feed it, it will die off. Don't feed it. Let it binge for a quick minute then force it to move on.
Let yourself be happy — because your happiness is not dependant on any man.
“Which store would you recommend for someone wanting to get a new pet?”
SPCA. Or go to any animal shelter. I know sometimes pet stores have puppies and kittens, but a rescue pet is a pet after my own heart.
If you're talking about fish or some other “low maintenance” pet, you're going to get similar situations everywhere. If you're talking about an “exotic” pet, this better not be your research.
“I may or may not have hooked up with my housemate. We were a little drunk and it was all very consensual, but it won't happen again. How do I make things… not awkward? We haven't talked other than some usual roomie small talk.”
I mean, if it's weird, you might have to bite the bullet and actually talk to them. If they're acting off too, then it probably means they know it wasn't in the cards for the two of you.
If the idea of looking them in the face makes you horribly uncomfortable, then you have to deal with your own emotions. What were you expecting? What did you want to happen? What would you do if you could do it all over again?
When you've sorted that fun bit out and are ready to friendzone the complete shit out of each other, do it. Have small talk, complain about your job, class or friends, and make jokes with each other. Make sure neither of you stray into anything sexual with each other again.
Ah, the mutual friend zone. It's a wonderful thing.
Need advice? Contact Natalie anonymously at asknatalie@ubyssey.ca or at ubyssey.ca/advice and have your questions answered!
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