“Dear Natalie,
I’m a recently single girl who’s on Tinder now, but I get this weird feeling every time I use it. I get a lot of matches and I start talking to people, but I never really want to meet up with anyone and I’m really turned off by the whole thing. How does anyone actually get into Tinder without feeling like crap about it?”
Tinder is this weird thing where the majority of people I know have used it at least once even if they were A) in a relationship and used it for kicks, B) didn’t know how to use Tinder or C) lived in a small town where unless you put your max distance as 50 km, everyone you match with will be related to you. It seems that everyone is on it, but that also means everyone can see that you’re on it too.
I also have friends who shun Tinder and swear on Bumble. I have friends who only use OKCupid. I have friends who had Tinder once, went on one bad date and claimed “the whole Tinder thing” was terrible and overrated. If Tinder isn’t for you, that’s fine. I don’t like it. But I’m lazy and hate having to check my phone.
The moral of this story is that Tinder isn’t for everyone. If you get a weird feelings and you don’t want to commit to actually setting up dates, then maybe you shouldn’t be on it. As much as we think it is, traditional dating isn’t completely out of the window. It’s not like you don’t have other options. Join a club, meet new people, ask your friends if they could set you up on a blind date. Don’t ever think that Tinder is your only option.
Tinder does work for a lot of people. “Tinder dates” are a common thing, but the app is flooded with people who don’t really want to use it as an actual dating app, which can make the process a little annoying for the people who are using Tinder for… well, Tinder. Avoid anyone who has the phrases “just looking for friends,” “partnered, so platonic” or “hang outs, not hook ups.” Those are the people who use the app for nothing but kicks. I can’t tell you very many tips since I’m not an avid user, but I’m sure there are many on the internet.
However, if you’re very recently single and you’d like nothing more than to not date anyone for a while or you’d like to take time before your next relationship to work on yourself, Tinder is a lot like a cake that’s in front of you while you’re on a diet — sure, if you indulge now, you’ll get a release. But soon, you’ll feel bloated and wish you never ate it.
“Natalie,
Should I dump my girlfriend?”
Based on the limited information you’ve given me, yes.
Need advice? Contact Natalie anonymously at asknatalie@ubyssey.ca and have your questions answered in an upcoming issue.
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