“Dear Natalie,
I feel like I don't like the person I've become this year. I was so happy and nice last year, but this year... I don't know. My new friends aren't as cool, I've gotten lazy and my grades show. I have no motivation to do anything. I just lie down every day, watch movies and do nothing productive. What should I do?”
I've seen this before, it happens a lot after first year. You're thrown into a completely new situation with new people, new responsibilities and new freedoms. You change in first year — everyone does. Maybe you became everything you've ever wanted. Maybe you became someone you don't really like or someone you would have never thought you would be. That's okay. We're not set in stone. We're always growing as people.
If your friends aren't “cool” enough for you — although maybe they are and you're just looking for something else — then find new ones. Join clubs that actually interest you and make friends. Don't be a Judgey McGee and you should be fine.
As for your personality and lack of motivation, you need to work on that yourself. Force yourself to do things. Give yourself breaks and make sure you stick to it. Reward yourself when you are productive. If you really need help with who you are, that's fine too. Professionals know how to help people become the best version of themselves — and I'm not talking about life coaches. Seek help. The best thing you can do for yourself is take care of your body and mind. Success means very little if you can't enjoy it.
Finally, don't let yourself stay down for too long. Vancouver in the summer is pretty dang awesome if you give it the chance.
“Dear Natalie,
I moved in with new roommates and I'm having a little trouble with getting along with them. I feel like I'm buying all the dish soap, toilet paper and everything. Should I just stop buying them?”
Everyone can see what they themselves do, but it's harder to see what everyone else does. That's why group projects almost never work out in anyone's favour.
My friend does this thing I think is brilliant. She and her roommates have a list of things they need collectively and they initial beside it when they buy something. That way you can see how often you buy things in comparison to your other roommates. You can see what you haven't bought in a while and what you seem to be buying the most of.
I've been in a house where everyone pitched in money to buy those collective things. Then once a month or whenever it's needed, someone could take money from the jar and buy laundry detergent, dish shop or whatever.
Alternatively, you could divide what needs to be bought and have everyone claim something to always make sure the house has. There are tons of options for keeping resentment out of the house that don't involve not doing your part of chores. No one likes that person.
Communication is almost always the answer to these kind of problems, so maybe a house meeting is in order. It may be awkward or boring, but sometimes you just need to do it.
Need advice? Contact Natalie anonymously at asknatalie@ubyssey.ca and have your questions answered in an upcoming issue.
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