April 2, 2018

Finally: Satan Oh-No apologizes for making other universities look bad

I’ve been hearing rumours of a place called SFU. I don’t know what that means but I’m sure they’re doing their best.

Mai Boatye

April 1, 2018

Oh-No's Twitter Tips: Building your online brand to distance yourself from the crushing horrors of late capitalism

Everyone likes doggos, even destitute students! If you’re feeling fuzzy, tweet a picture of your beautiful dog Fido. The kids will eat that shit up — and the more doggo pics you send out, the more likely people will forget that you caved to alumni donors who threatened to stop their donations after you disinvited a speaker accused of abusing multiple Indigenous children.

Josh Is Easy

April 1, 2018

20 questions with Satan Oh-No

Guest Globe and Mail reporter Andy Roo was kind enough to take time away from quote-tweeting Jardon Porterson to pen a gleefully sycophantic fluff piece on one of the most powerful people in the country.

Kon Jay and Andy Roo

April 1, 2018

Why the cello actually gets you laid a lot

Just try it one day. Whip out that 200-year-old piece of gnarled, well-fingered wood — ha ha, hey, not that one! You’ll be surprised at the raw, sexual dynamism of the favoured instrument of people whose hands are too meaty for the violin.

Pisstain Weiner

April 1, 2018

How to surgically optimize your body for social media

It’s hard to keep up that up over the years of stress and unaddressed faults in your institution, so I’ve compiled a list of procedures to keep you looking tight and Insta-ready!

Pepe Sylvia

April 1, 2018

Oh-No’s budget tips for sessional instructors

Ethics and moral principle fly out the window in the funnest way when you’re strapped for cash. Imagine how invaluable you’d be to the students of your course when you shamefully hand over the answer to the only thing that you’ve ever loved.

Pisstain Wiener and Kon Jay

April 1, 2018

What students really mean when they talk about fall reading break

Unless it’s got the word donor in front of it, things like “mental wellbeing,” “long-overdue” and “no I don’t want to hear another TED Talk” start to sound like complete gibberish.

Kale MacLachlan

April 1, 2018

Three bow ties that'll make everyone forget you haven't apologized for residential schools

Getting dressed in the morning for a long day of busking in the TrySkain, schmoozing with donors and paying lip service to institutional racism against Indigenous people at UBC requires a level of versatility that only a bowtie can provide.

Fjørk Knievenspoon

April 1, 2018

Oh-No’s favourite things 2018

Here’s our annual list of gifts that Oh-No thinks are just great!

Joolia Burntham

April 1, 2018

Satan Oh-No's book club

“This is a beautiful story for people of all ages with a beautiful moral: if you just hang around long enough, good things will happen to you.”

Kon Jay and Pisstain Wiener

Unknown

Why I'm militarizing my photography drone

One of my greatest joys in life is photography. Recently, I’ve been taking more shots with my DJI Mavic Pro Drone to capture the splendour of this gorgeous campus we call home.

Kaz Mascara

Unknown

Three alumni start-ups I use and so should you

UBC is a world-class hotbed of innovation, entrepreneurial spirit and, of course, start-ups.

Kale MacLachlan

Unknown

This month's question: What do you like about UBC?

See what UBC's movers and shakers have to say about the university — fully uncensored and honest.

Poopie Buttcliffe

Unknown

20 Questions with Satan Oh-no

Guest Globe and Mail reporter Andy Roo was kind enough to take time away from quote-tweeting Jardon Porterson to pen a gleefully sycophantic fluff piece on one of the most powerful people in the country.

Andy Roo

Unknown

5 mottos I thought were way cooler than "A Place of Mind"

Here are a few mottos that I advocated for before they were all unfairly voted down by the Board of Governors.

Kaz Mascara