We’ve never been similar, not since we were small. I’m 5”4, short-haired, sports reporter, arts student. She’s 5”8, long haired, sports player, business student. She’s the sensitive one. She feels deeply, and empathizes easily, but this also makes her vulnerable; that said, she is strong willed, which makes her a good leader. I’m quiet and reserved, but that means I keep my thoughts to myself — and so I write or draw.
These differences led to our fair share of issues growing up — but what siblings don’t clash. We just experienced each minute of each day of each year of growing up side by side. From first class projects to first sports teams, to first loves and first friends. That’s what makes our story a little different; with those replicated footsteps through most of our life, we get compared more than anything else.
That is until university.
In our last year of high school, I think it dawned on both of us that we weren’t going down the same path. We both got in to several schools, and the choices sat in front of us. Do we stay together, or take a risk apart? And for the first time in both of our lives, we decided to jump into unknown waters. I went to Carleton and she went to McGill. I studied journalism for two years, lived in a shitty residence but finally broke out of my introverted shell, learned what fun really was, and learned that journalism school isn’t for me, but sports writing is. Gemma studied business, learned to live in a French-speaking city and compete with the best and brightest business students in the country. I moved back to Vancouver to UBC and extended my degree, and she finished hers at McGill.
She comes back in the summers but things are different now. We aren’t great at living together without parental supervision, as we both have different needs in a home. On the other hand, I have learned how to communicate with her and show her I care, which was something our relationship lacked when we lived at home together. And I learned that I have no idea what she does in her degree or career but that’s okay because I know she loves it.
We watched our parent’s divorce in our second year of university, and learned how to be a stronger unit together. We communicate and listen to each other more. And I’ve realized what hurts her more than anything is losing her family, watching it slip away — she is a person of habit and comfort just as I am, but it manifests the most in how she values our family. I can’t fault that, and in fact envy her passion and pride for who we are.
And so we aren’t the same, and we have followed two different paths after years of growing side by side. We aren’t great at being apart from one another, but we are no longer great at being together either. We are in this middle ground, where maybe we don’t understand each other entirely anymore, but we are learning to love and celebrate our differences.
She moved to Toronto in January to start her first full-time job, which I am so incredibly proud of her for. I am still in school, working at the school paper and figuring out what I want to do in sports media. She has already asked if I will move to Toronto, but I have a hard time imagining it. Maybe what makes us great is when we divide and conquer. Maybe it’s best when we shine on our own. Or maybe, just maybe, it’s time for us to conquer another city together.
I’ve started looking at positions there, just in case.
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