How to show your family that you definitely just got back from university and are doing great this Thanksgiving

Wear your res lanyard around your neck all the time

It’s your first time living away from home, and you wanna let your family know you’re loving it. No, you won’t need those keys for the next few days, but it’s not about utility. It’s a statement. That you are doing great on your own. That you can now do laundry without your mom’s help. That you are definitely attending your 8 a.m. lectures on your own volition. The res lanyard should also be paired with head-to-toe UBC gear, preferably from your faculty.

Quote your poli sci prof verbatim when debating politics with your parents

Now you can finally add to the tense Thanksgiving political discussions by using arguments taken word-for-word from your POLI 100 prof. Even though you only have minimal understanding of tax reform and foreign policy, you can now take your prof’s nuanced stances on subjects so you don’t have to have any nuance yourself!

Call every new person you’ve met “your friend” so your mom doesn’t worry that you’re lonely

Maybe your RA only speaks to you because it’s part of their job, but your mom doesn’t need to know that. When telling a story that involves literally any other student, just call them a “friend” so your mom can tell her friends at book club how great university is going for you.

Drink a dark beer with your dad

Show your maturity by enjoying a nice cold beer with your dad during dinner. Having one casual, dark beer will show that you’re an adult now, who actually enjoys the taste of alcohol and doesn’t just drink to get drunk.

Don’t let your sibling in high school complain about their workload, because “university is soooooo much harder”

Your sibling is in their teens so up to this point, the work in high school is the most difficult thing they’ve done. But you are a much wiser, older, educated post-secondary student so you’ll just disregard their feelings entirely. Tell them that their 1,000-word essays are nothing and roll your eyes at their poster projects, even though you were stressing over the exact same things as them six months ago.

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