Humour

The Dingbat

The Dingbat is The Ubyssey’s humour column. We focus on publishing satirical articles relevant to the UBC student’s academic and social experience. If you would like to prove that you're as funny as your friends say you are, put your money where your typing fingers are and submit completed pieces or pitches to blog@ubyssey.ca

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March 24, 2023

The Dingbat: Things I'd date at UBC

Valentine's Day has come and gone. Winter is passing you by and yet, you STAY uncuffed. The snow showed up, the city shut down (but apparently not the UBC campus) and you found yourself hot chocolate date-less, left to brave the storm with only your sensible footwear to keep you company. Well! Fear not! I present to you a most robust and enticing list of suitable and 100 per cent real dating options (in no particular order).

Kyla Flynn

March 23, 2023

The Dingbat: How to queer Storm the Wall

"Queering” is not just about your gender identity or sexual orientation. If we’ve learned anything from our GRSJ electives, it’s that “queering” means basically whatever you want it to mean. With this in mind, here’s how to queer Storm the Wall next year — always stay prepped.

Tova Gaster and Nathan Bawaan

March 20, 2023

The Dingbat: Nine reasons you should shit at IKB

The rumbling in your tummy, the gurgling of your bowels, the urge to take the biggest shit of your life consumes you and you don’t know where to go. Fear not my friend, for here are the nine best reasons why you should take your life-altering dookies at IKB.

Talia Peck

March 3, 2023

The Dingbat: I lost my friend at The Pit

It’s sweaty and full of bodily fluids. It’s dark, humid and has the scent of something that died a few days ago. It’s full of all kinds of hair and other unmentionables… it’s the Pit on a Wednesday evening.

Shanai Tanwar

March 2, 2023

The Dingbat: Evo Car Share is trying to kill me

It’s dark. You’re driving down University Boulevard, and the silence of your night-time drive is only fractured by the sweet lullabies of a crooning Taylor Swift filtering through your car stereo. It’s a perfect drive — too perfect. You speed up, delighted by the gentle purr of your car’s engine, when all of a sudden you see it: A flash of black. Then blue — that dreaded blue.

Kyla Flynn

February 3, 2023

The Dingbat: Dirtbag Dating Advice

Newly single? Long-term single? Not sure how to adapt to the fast-paced world of internet speed dating? Afraid of failure? Afraid of success? Well here are The Dingbat Dirtbag’s surefire tips to change things — even if it’s not for the better.

Thomas McLeod

February 1, 2023

The Dingbat: What's your deal, man?

Last Tuesday, reports obtained by The Ubyssey showed that you’ve been totally weird recently, man. Eyewitness accounts state that your vibe has totally shifted the last couple weeks and that you’re kind of freaking everybody out.

Thomas McLeod

January 31, 2023

The Dingbat: How to assert dominance in the gym

It’s January 30. You’re going to the ARC for the first time because your new year’s resolution was to actually bulk instead of just saying ‘it’s bulking season’ every time you eat. How do you show that you’re not like the other new years newbies while simultaneously outclassing the 6 a.m. rise and grind crowd?

Anabella McElroy and Tova Gaster

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