We all know that gaslighting is an easy and effective way to get what you want from others without them even knowing they’re being manipulated. However, we also know it’s wrong and can have really devastating consequences for the victims or whatever. But what if gaslighting was used for good? If used in a utilitarian way (see, ethical philosophy), it almost seems wrong not to gaslight, right?
Since you agree, I give you this step-by-step guide to manipulate your teacher into canceling your final exam.
1. Be a model student in the remaining days of classes
Even if you haven’t participated in class before and have handed every assignment in late, forget the past and act like you have a clean slate. Your prof will remember your most recent behavior more vividly and categorize you as one of the best students in their class. They will then lower their guard, which we can take advantage of.
2. Establish similarities
By mirroring their body language, you can build trust with your professor because they will start to see you as the same as them. This will dissolve that unfounded presumption they have that you just want to get out of doing work. As a result, they will be more open to listen to your arguments, helping you get out of work.
3. Make an unreasonable request followed by a more reasonable one
By making a bigger request before asking for what you actually want, your professor will see canceling the exam for the class as a better alternative and be more likely to agree. For example: ask them to duet a song from High School Musical with you (preferably Bop to the Top) as a much deserved thank you for a great semester. If they say no, quickly slip in the suggestion of canceling the exam as an alternative. Bonus: This will also make them feel guilty since they already said no to one request.
4. Make them more likely to agree
Make things awkward by oversharing uncomfortable events that are going on in your life. Lie if you have to, but make sure that your professor feels the need to get out of the conversation as quickly as possible. This way they will agree to your terms before considering what you said.
5. Change the narrative
Lastly, present an alternate story that makes it look like the class would be wronged by an exam. This could include convincing them of a promise they made to the class that led everyone to believe there would be no exam or that the university said they were testing out a new teaching method that included no exams. Get really creative here (lie)!
After you complete these six easy steps, your professor is sure to cancel your exam and you will become a hero amongst your classmates. Just don't forget the last step!
Don’t forget to have fun with it too, though. Incorporate other manipulative tactics like scapegoating, bribing and coercion to really make gaslighting your own.
The Ubyssey does not condone gaslighting of any form, and will not be held responsible for your own decision to employ manipulative tactics that you found, yourself, in media articles that you clicked on, of your own will, completely unrelated to this innocent, unrelated article.
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