After many years toiling in the depths of the Life Sciences Institute as a graduate student, my post-defence clarity has me reflecting on ways to improve STEM education at UBC. Science is getting way too good, and we need to do something about it.
Because technology is constantly evolving and improving, people are losing sight of the past — the old ways, fueled by pure human curiosity and a stark disregard for standardized practice. The solution? Bring back mouth pipetting.
You’ve probably heard whispers of this technique during your studies, whether it be from a prof reminiscing about their younger days in a lab coat or co-op students swearing they saw a senior researcher do it “that one time.”
Skeptics might dismiss the method — using a glass pipette to measure liquids by treating it like a giant straw — by calling it “archaic,” “stupid” or “potentially harmful.” But any competent scientist will tell you that there's only one way to determine if there’s merit to my hypothesis: and that’s to test it. And what better place than our very own labs at UBC.
It’s time to take notes from history’s greatest scientists and embrace tried-and-true methods for regular lab use. Here are eight reasons why mouth pipetting is a perfectly feasible technique that should be explored in labs right here on campus.
1. Sustainability
We’ve all felt that tinge of apprehension after you finish a long day in the lab and toss out what feels like a shameful number of pipette tips. The beauty of mouth pipetting, with its application of a reusable glass pipette, lies in its sustainability. So sign into Quartzy, put in a one-time glass pipette order and you’ve just helped make this campus a little more sustainable. Plus, they double as reusable straws — and only for a few extra hundred dollars than regular reusable straws! Goodbye plastic, hello planet-conscious alternative!
2. Nutrition
Now, I’m not saying that you should go out of your way to consume lab goods. That would be madness. But if you find yourself sampling a bit of media with five per cent fetal bovine serum while mouth pipetting, consider it a hidden benefit of the craft. There’s a ban on eating food in the lab space, after all. Plus, if you find yourself regularly skipping meals due to your experiments, some extra nutrients could probably do you some good. And if you do want to sneak food into the lab, blend it up and suck it straight into your mouth via pipette. It will just look like any other toxic substance you ingest during the process. Life hack!
3. Precision
According to a recent study from the TrustMeBro Institute of Technology, mouth pipetting is more precise than standard pipettes by 69 per cent. The sample size was limited, but the results suggest mouth pipetting may be a promising alternative compared to standard pipettes. Since UBC is known for integrating research into its teaching practices, the institution should explore mouth pipetting as an evidence-based practice in a classroom setting. It would get some Canadian Journal of Higher Education pubs, too.
4. Aesthetics
From bell-bottoms to vinyls, retro is back in style. Those cool vintage photos of scientists on your Pinterest board can easily be translated to reality: Just add a sepia filter to candid lab shots of you practicing mouth pipetting in a lab coat, and you’ve got the perfect aesthetic pic for your next photo dump.
5. You’ve gone method
Sometimes when tackling complicated experiments in the lab, imposter syndrome rears its ugly head and makes you feel less like the badass scientist you were born to be. The best way to cure imposter syndrome? Focus on the facts of all your success and reframe your negative thoughts.
Just kidding! You should become someone else.
In times of uncertainty, taking inspiration from historic role models in STEM is a great way to remind yourself of the end goal and what can be accomplished through determination and creativity. But why limit yourself to gazing at that photo of Rosalind Franklin on your bench top when you can emulate scientists of that time instead? Get into the headspace of trail-blazing researchers of a bygone era by fully committing to their process. Copying your role model’s style, philosophy and lab protocols might just be the key to getting into the genius headspace that you need to finally make your assays work.
6. Relatability and Networking
Fledgling scientists might find it tricky to connect with established researchers. Networking is challenging and intimidating due to generational gaps, which have only been bridged thus far by moderate joint pain. By embracing a technique familiar to many senior principal investigators, you’ll be far better equipped to find common ground.
7. Focus on your breathing
What’s better than a perfectly valid method of measurement? That’s right — a perfectly valid method of measurement that allows you to reconnect with your breathing. Breath control developed from mouth pipetting is a transferable skill that will also help you to relax, practice mindfulness, and even try out for your local wind instrument ensemble!
8. Impress your PI and peers
Being a student researcher takes grit and resilience. To impress your PI and colleagues, mouth pipetting is a sure way to blow them away. Is there a risk of infection? Yes. Chemical burns? Sure! But you’re built different. Mouth pipetting is a powerful tool to show off your dedication and willingness to commit to protocols that get things done, however detrimental they may be to your health.
So suck it up, UBC, and embrace mouth pipetting. It might just be what you need to finally finish your thesis. And maybe a smoothie.
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