As you’ve probably noticed, Squirrels of UBC has recently become a bit of a campus celebrity thanks to their squirrel-worshipping, photography skills and witty comments throughout UBC Confessions. They may have hit the big time, but they’re not the only bizarre UBC-related Facebook page that’s vying for your attention.
For your convenience, we’ve put together a list of some notable UBC Facebook pages that are trying to shitpost their way into your hearts. Some of these pages are rising internet stars, others haven’t been active in years and one only has seven likes. Regardless, you might consider them worthy of your time. Or not. In fact, if you’re digging this deep into Facebook, you probably need to be doing something better with your time.
But hey, it’s your life. Waste it however you please.
Buchanan Tower
Look at ye mighty waffle tower and despair. UBC’s 45-year-old arts building is notable for not only its uniquely bleak architectural design, but also for its tendency to shitpost on the internet. Billed as a “religious organization” and “the embodiment of the most dominant faculty on campus,” its Facebook page implores you to both “love the tower [and] fear the tower.” While its review section solely consists of five-star reviews, one reviewer said, “There are few things as holy and as pure as this place.”
Crows of UBC
Crows of UBC needs to get their shit together. As I’m writing this, the page only has about seven likes — one of which is from me — and one picture of a crow looking very angry. They’ve asked UBC to send them pictures of crows on campus, but it doesn’t appear that they’ve gotten any. A this point, the best path they could take would involve adding a few crow pictures taken by the admin and then trolling every other page in this article. Could Crows of UBC beat Squirrels of UBC in a fight? How about in an internet flame war? Let’s find out.
The Confession Drawer
When I played Neopets as a kid, a mysterious hooded figure named Jacko the Phantom Painter would come out of nowhere and give rare users — like myself! — a paintbrush to illustrate their Neopets with. The Confession Drawer will do something similar. If you post a confession to UBC Confessions, there’s a slight chance that whoever runs this page will pop up and illustrate your confession in the form of a comic. Their Facebook page is pretty bare, but look out for their posts in the comment sections.
UBC Shitting Experiences
It’s like UBC Confessions, but for people who want to discuss the shits they take on campus. Unfortunately, the page has gone inactive, as only one “experience” has been posted in the last two years. In my humble opinion, this is the one page that needs to be revived. Oh, and people also post links to pictures of their shit. So if you see any Imgur links on there, don’t make my mistake of clicking on one in Starbucks.
Garbage of UBC
For the most part, Garbage at UBC shows exactly what you think it does — eloquent displays of trash cans on campus with the occasional snide joke in there too. But they deserve brownie points for calling out those godawful “Halloween Club Crawl” and “Beat Your Course” ads that get plastered all around campus like zits on a teenager's face. Our campus is beautiful, so let’s keep it spam-free.
UBC memes / UBC Memes / UBC Dank Memes / UBC Memes for Edgy Teens
As you can see, there’s a lot of general UBC meme pages. In the beginning, there was just UBC memes, which started in 2012 — so long ago that their display pic includes the “y u no” rage comic face. They managed to amass over 9,000 likes, but they’ve been inactive since 2015. UBC Dank Memes, UBC Memes for Edgy Teens and UBC Memes — with a capitalized M — are the new torch-bearers, but they’ve only managed to amass a small fraction of their predecessor’s likes. Here’s hoping all of these pages see greater success in their futures.
Snakes of UBC
If you’re on UBC Confessions, you’ve probably noticed that the “Sauder snakes” joke has gotten very out of hand. So naturally, someone made a page dedicated to it with plenty of memes and photoshopped snake images intact. This page posts more than any of the other pages here and it even offered up endorsements for the CUS elections in January. Three of their four endorsements went on to win, so don’t underestimate their influence. Snakes of UBC is to Sauder as Russia is to the United States.
UBC Confessions Uncensored
Hey you! Are you a massive edgelord? Are the stories on UBC Confessions about wiping cum on your roommates towels or fantasizing about being anally penetrated by Robert Gateman just not extreme enough for you? Do you feel an insatiable, uncontrollable urge to insult your ex-girlfriend’s weight on the internet? Are you a self-proclaimed “proud slut-shamer and chief of the thot-police department?” If you answered yes to all of these questions, you’ll probably also like this page. Also, please rethink your life choices and get off of Malik Obama’s Twitter feed.
Honourable mention: Sexy Squirrels of UBC [deleted]
Squirrels of UBC may have achieved internet stardom, but it’s a shame that Sexy Squirrels of UBC folded before these animals finally got their online time to shine. From what I remember, the page solely consisted of attractive people in bathing suits with squirrel heads photoshopped onto them. I have no photographic proof, but I do have a screenshot of me sending a link to the page to a girl on Tinder. I got a three-word response after 26 days, so I need to think of better conversation-starters.
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