How to celebrate Thanksgiving without going back home

If you can’t go home to your family this Thanksgiving, or are American and celebrate a different Thanksgiving, or if you, like me, are international and have a very limited understanding of the North American concept of Thanksgiving but still want to jump on the bandwagon and do something full of thanks this long weekend and remind people and yourself that you are, indeed, full of thanks, this is for you.

A potluck get-together

Capitalism is very well attuned to wholesome holidays such as Thanksgiving so while you may not have the time, energy or the skills to cook a whole turkey or any form of sustenance, you can always run to a supermarket and grab the freshest, sickest looking pumpkin pie available and hope to divine authority that your friends got a different form of pie.

Crafts

Make those hand-print turkeys with googly eyes and say “gobble gobble” to the person to your right until they go crazy and threaten to never be thankful for anything you do for them.

Thanksgiving-themed binging

Your favourite sitcoms probably have holiday-themed episodes. I know you’re lazy and hate people and also don’t want to study for your next midterm so get on Netflix already and watch that episode of Brooklyn-99 when there was a live turkey terrorizing everyone in Amy’s house.

Make thanksgiving about the proper noun Turkey

Turkey, the country, not the crazy bird, has made recent events. Spend Thanksgiving updating yourself on the news and you will automatically find yourself feeling extra thankful for certain privileges you probably have.

Bring out those board games

Eviscerate your friendships with some classic rounds of holiday Monopoly and Jenga. You don’t know what you have, or in this case, what you’re thankful for until it’s gone.

Remind yourself what you’re thankful for

And if the first thing on your list isn’t “dog” then you’re a monster. Just saying.

In conclusion, if you liked any of these ideas I hope you are full of thanks for me. I am full of thanks for me. Happy thanksgiving. Thanks for reading.

First online Oct. 13, 2019, 11:12 a.m.