UBC’s A Club of Ice and Fire held its own ‘debate’ for the AMS elections candidate on Thursday.
Contestants in each race were given a nerf gun and with ACOIF’s chief exec (“Hand of the King” Philip He) supervising, the combat began. The winner of each fight earned ACOIF's endorsement... but just how much value did that endorsement hold? Read on to find out!
First up was Board of Governors. All three candidates -- Tanner Bokor, Veronica Knott and Julie Van de Valk -- were present. Van de Valk was surprisingly ferocious, and with the aid of her automatic (foam-shooting) firearm she dominated the first battle. Knott was less competent than we had hoped and did nothing to improve on her assigned Nerf gun. Bokor, the first eliminated in the free-for-all, complained about his gun several times and seemed unusually terrified of the foam projectiles. Ultimately, He declared Van de Valk victorious and the winner of the club’s endorsement.
Immediately following the BoG ‘debate’ came VP external: Janzen Lee and Jude Crasta faced off for ACOIF’s treasured endorsement. After several minutes of dodging, dancing and fancy footwork Lee took home the prize. There was a brief respite to allow bedazzled onlookers to recover before the VP finance contest began. Pigott came out victorious over Miadlikowski after a protracted battle, earning Hand He’s favour.
The keynote event, the presidential fight, took place shortly after 5:00 p.m with Cheneil Antony-Hale, Aaron Bailey and V present. While the candidates were warming up Miadlikowski took some pot shots at engaged AMS-affiliated onlookers on the SUB’s balcony. Taking the advantage of surprise, Bailey launched a sneak attack on Antony-Hale to which she responded with great force. He called the group to order and had them start in separate corners of the SUB patio before beginning the melee.
The first two minutes of the battle were incredibly tough to follow (especially for this journalist who was tweeting with one hand and videoing with another). Each candidate planted several shots on his or her opponents, and within the first minute V had lost half of his outfit (though he retained the mask that protects his secret identity). After several minutes of intensity, Bailey declared the fight a draw -- though He later endorsed Antony-Hale for her conduct in combat.
Senate followed the presidential fight, with Marjan Hatai, Aaron Bailey, Ian Sapollnik and Viet Vu in attendance. Margareta Doval was unable attend due to illness, but sent a raven to He informing him that the Lannisters send their regards.
The Senate battle opened with a head shot on Bailey by Hatai, who proceeded to take cover behind the Hand. Disregarding the conventions of combat, Hatai also intentionally shot an innocent journalist who was covering the event (who also is writing this blog post). One bystander made a particularly insightful comment on the event, saying that “this is a perfect tell of what Senate is like: complete chaos and nothing gets done.” After a long, hard-fought battle He decided to endorse all four candidates who attended.
The VP admin contest lived up to all of our expectations: Remtulla dominated the competition though Jing put up an impressive fight, and Nasiri forfeited “in the name of world peace.” When Nasiri’s gun was empty instead of reloading she decided to shout “pew pew” and throw bullets at her opponents. Ultimately, Remtulla was declared the winner, earning the club’s endorsement.
Ultimately, three out of the nine candidates endorsed by ACOIF claimed victory in the actual election: Van de Valk for BoG and Bailey and Hatai for Senate. Apparently, Nerf gunmanship doesn't equate to political prowess -- though this does raise the question of whether or not we may be better suited by having our student politicians elected by (non-lethal) combat instead of so archaic a system as voting.
Check out more photos of the event on our Facebook page.
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