Although we’re all at university to learn and get our degrees, the classroom is only one part of the university educational experience. Learning how to build healthy relationships, communicate desires and boundaries and have the kind of sex life you want to have (whether that’s with a long-term committed partner, with a couple casual hookups, purely solo or none at all) can be a useful arsenal of knowledge to develop.

Communication

A healthy relationship requires everyone being on the same page about what each person needs from the other to feel safe and supported. First, it helps to clearly articulate to yourself what you’re looking for from your sex life and your relationships. Practice defining what boundaries you won’t cross, and saying no confidently. Consent is also vital for healthy relationships and safe sex — see the next page for more information about consent.

Safety first

With most forms of sexual activity and romantic intimacy comes risk, whether that be the pain of heartbreak or of herpes. That doesn’t mean you should abstain (unless you want to). It means that you should have an open and destigmatizing dialogue with your partner(s) about sexual and emotional health to keep you and them as safe and as satisfied as possible. There are resources at UBC to help.

UBC students can find contraceptives and safe sex supplies outside the Wellness Centre in the Life Building. There’s also a store inside that sells lubricants, internal and external condoms, pregnancy tests, sex toys and more at cost (for relatively cheap). There’s also no shame in getting a sexually-transmitted infection (STI) — 75 per cent of sexually-active adults will contract Human Papilloma Virus (HPV) in their lifetimes — but there is shame in not getting tested and failing to be transparent about your status. UBC’s Student Health Service offers free and confidential testing, and there are other testing sites throughout the Vancouver area if you’d rather get off campus.

Resources in Vancouver

Bookstores, sex toy stores and virtual support groups in Vancouver are great places to explore what you like. Little Sister’s and The Art of Loving are small businesses which focus on diverse sex positivity education. Little Sister’s is a “bookstore and art emporium” with a broad selection of Queer-friendly books, as well as a large selection of sex toys for all gender identities and orientations.

The Art of Loving sells a variety of toys and erotica. Its staff are trained on sex-positivity, and can offer informed recommendations for newbies. Pre-COVID-19, the store hosted educational seminars on topics from kissing to anal. Although workshops are on hold, the website includes product reviews and expert tips.

Nonprofit Qmunity hosts a variety of support groups, including spaces for Queer, Trans, autistic, asexual and nonmonogamous people to discuss their experiences, as well as a group reserved for IBPOC.

BC residents can also anonymously ask sexual health and wellness questions through the Sex Sense line: a “free, pro-choice, sex-positive, and confidential” service staffed by experts.

University is a great place to explore sex and relationships! Just don’t put too much pressure on it, listen to yourself and others and keep it safe, sane and consensual